(I spent the day writing an essay, subtitled "Gaming with Assholes". Enjoy.)

A. Where is it?
B. How to get there.
C. Passive Aggressivan Proliferation on the Internets.
D. Can I run a game without a Passive Aggressivan?
E. How do I spot a citizen of Passive Aggressiva?
F. What to do if you encounter a Passive Aggressivan.
G. So what's the upside?
H. Conclusion.

A. Where is it?

Passive Aggressiva exists on the ethereal plane. The natives are
created to look, sound, and feel just like humans. Do not let these
similarities fool you.

B. How do I get there?

Don't worry about getting to Passive Aggressiva. Its citizens will
come to you. Count on it.

C. Passive Aggressivan Proliferation on the Internets

Email, and by extension Email and/or Web Based Gaming, is a natural
gathering space for Passive Aggressivans. Since their entire society
is built on the notion of taking aggressive action without any of the
face-to-face unpleasantness of physical proximity or contact, the
internet is a natural spawning ground for this group and they've taken
to the online world in droves.

D. Can I run a game without a Passive Aggressivan?

If only you could. If only anyone could.

E. How do I spot a citizen of The Land of Passive Aggressiva?

In the physical world the most powerful weapon at the Passive
Aggressivan's disposal is withdraw, or The Silent Treatment.
Ironically, online this weapon is left universally unused by this
devious race. However, because they are so prolific in cyberspace,
they're fairly easy to spot. Here are some helpful indicators.

1. The Snark Thanks: This is a tactic most often employed by
juveniles. The subject will thank you for doing something their
inherent sense of self-importance dictated you must do, but which you
were under no obligation to do, had no intention of doing, have never
done previously and will never do in the future.

2. The Oh And: One who starts any email sentence with "Oh, and..."
such as "Oh, and by the way..." or "Oh, and for your information..."
The "Oh, and" is the most obvious trademark of Passive Aggressiva.
Scientists now believe it is genetic and possibly an unfortunate side
effect of generations of bad roleplayer inbreeding.

3. The Obfuscation: Hard-wired into their physiology is an innate
belief in their own superiority. Because of this, Passive Aggressivans
believe that they are owed an explanation of anything they do not
agree with. Normally this consists of the "Challenge/Response" phase,
where you will be asked to explicitly define every possible
application/scenario of a rule. The Passive Aggressivan will then pick
one at random and demand you state your reasons for applying a
completely non-related scenario to their current situation.

4. The Cabal: The subjects protest that others unfairly accuse, rather
than owning up to their own misdeeds. They will systematically set
themselves up as the apparently hapless, innocent victim of your
excessive demands and tirades. Since all subjects of The Land of
Passive Aggressiva are always right, whatever infraction you've
pointed out to them is simply part of some larger conspiracy. See:
TINC - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/There_Is_No_Cabal or
http://www.faqs.org/faqs/usenet/cabal-conspiracy-FAQ/ The Cabal is
the natural fall-back position of every Passive Aggressivan ever
identified, captured, tagged and released back into the wild.

5. The Awesome Power of Their Overwhelming Intellect: "Yes, my obvious
wank/snark has been pointed out to me before, but this time I used my
super secret stealth snark capability! You couldn't possibly have
caught the reference, so you're unfairly targeting me!" (See: The
Cabal.)

6. The Subterfuge: "I don't understand why blah blah blah..." This has
nothing to do with understanding. It is a transparent ploy to lure you
into a dialogue in which the subject attempts to start and win an
argument about why your rules don't apply to them. The Subterfuge will
play out in one of two ways, each equally annoying:

a. The subject will either inexplicably commit the same rule
infraction over and over until your head explodes, or
b. The subject will covertly attempt to convince a number of your
other players to support them until,
1. your other players fall victim to their wiles and your game
explodes, or
2. your other players leave your game due to the excessive OOC
drama created by the subject and your game explodes.

7. The Magnanimous Sage: A key genetic trait among the citizens of
Passive Aggressiva is a predisposition to what's known to them as
teaching. (In the Language of Passive Aggressiva, the English words
"teach" and "manipulate" have identical definitions.) This stems from
the belief - which can be seen in much of the country's propaganda -
that only they hold the knowledge of how to correctly do most
anything. The fact that they are not in charge is inconsequential;
most can't run their own games successfully because normal players
naturally question the game owner and all Passive Agressivans view
these questions as attacks. Bizarrely, this doesn't stop them from
questioning you. "I'm just trying to educate you on the proper way to
run your game/group/list/life", "I'd think you'd be more open to
suggestions", and "I was only trying to help" are common refrains and
are nothing more than thinly veiled attempts to engage you in
dialogue.

8. The Emoticon: Subjects of Passive Aggressiva are raised in total
isolation by "Agreement Droids", not human beings. As such, when they
are returned to the wilds of the corporeal world, they will inevitably
run across a real, live human being who possesses original and
personal thoughts and feelings, who does not agree with them and will
not accede to their wishes. In the event the Auto-Response Scenarios
outlined above fail, the Emote Programming emerges, complete with a
realistic downward spiral into hurt, depression, mental pain and
anguish. This fail-safe behavior is designed to make you feel guilty
and is a last ditch attempt to manipulate you into allowing them to
remain in your game.

9. The Reload/Reboot: In extreme cases, upon the failure of the
Emoticon Gambit the Passive Aggressivan will unconsciously seek out
other subjects of the Homeland and the embedded Reassurance Protocols
will come online. These Protocols generally involve a smear campaign -
how dare you run your game as you see fit! - and include long lists
of your transgressions being posted around the internet. These
postings contain embedded code that activates the Reassurance
Protocols in other Passive Aggressivans, allowing them to come to one
another's aid. You should view these attacks as the cries for help
they are. Don't take it personally.

F. What to do if you encounter a Passive Aggressivan.

The most important thing is not to panic. We've all been through this
at one time or another, and you are not alone. Under no circumstances
should you begin a dialogue of any kind with a native! No matter how
badly your psyche cries out for the smackdown, you are wasting your
breath. Do not engage. Also do not attempt to find some common ground
or engineer a truce with a Passive Aggressivan, as this only opens you
up to further manipulation. You will find only the winds of madness
and frustration blowing down that road.

The only proven tactic is The Silent Treatment, which is an incredibly
ironic role-reversal. If you say nothing you essentially disarm them,
as communication with you is key to a successful Reload/Reboot.
Bizarrely, while Passive Aggressivans have no qualms with twisting
your words, deliberately misreading your intentions or leaving out
huge chunks of dialogue to make themselves look better, they seem to
draw the line at fabrication which should not be taken as an
indication of normalcy but rather a tacit lack of imagination.

G. So what's the upside?

A Passive Aggressivan that has reached the Reload/Reboot stage can be
very useful in identifying other subjects of this annoying country you
have not yet run into personally. Carefully monitor their posts about
you, and immediately blacklist anyone who agrees with or attempts to
comfort the subject.

H. Conclusion.

This is an extremely hostile race cloaked in victimization, and can be
very difficult to deal with for the more compassionate among us. While
not fatal, an encounter with a Passive Aggressivan can be extremely
irritating, much like being stuck in a room with a mosquito you can
hear but can't see. You know it's going to bite you eventually. Just
remember to save all the emails. After the disgust has worn off,
they're hilarious.